I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
True Life: I puke at bars and try to catch it in my hand...then walk away like it didn't happen
Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
By the way when you were super fucked up last night, you ate cat food and tried to tell me it was healthy for you
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
P.s. I wore your shirt today and it has your blood all over it, but I am at a funeral home and they are using embalming fluid to get your blood stains out right now.
I just had to explain my bite marks to my allergy doctor when she gave me my shots...You're the best <3
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
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