i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men
You know how there are wrinkles in your brain? What if they were filled with potato chips? That's kind of how my head feels now.
you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.
So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush...
I'm shaved like a Brazilian hooker right now.
I have the flu.
I don't give a shit
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
Why is there never any toilet paper at his apartment? What does he wipe his ass with? WHAT DOES HE WIPE IT WITH?!?
Randomize
