If I could pick any std, I would pick genital herpes. Seriously. Have you seen the commercials? The lady is riding a fucking bike, swimming, and on a date. I have a perfectly fine vag and all I do is go to the library.
she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
I misunderstood what a threesome is. Please come pick me up.
At Grandmas for dinner. She is drinking a smirnoff ice. As soon as I saw it I had to stop myself from yelling chug.
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
Only I could host a baby shower where the cops get called.
I almost had to fight a bird, and you know how scared I am of birds. It found that Percocet that I lost in the grass last week, I threw out my back when I launched myself at that little fucker.
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
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