don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
She was covered in mud grabbed my crotch and said see that handprint that means I called dibs
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
How the hell does my fucking boss know about the goddamned magician I fucked?!?
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
I was gonna be Romantic and write your name in emoji eggplants but A's are hard
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
And then he peed in my hair
Randomize
