there is a ziplock bag over sangria in a wineglass in the fridge...classy?
she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
She bit a glass in half.
he slipped a picture of a kangaroo under my door that said "im sorry" on the back and passed out on my lawn.. who the fuck is this kid?
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
Oh you have the munchies, Dad? That's great and congratulations on the weed but STOP EATING MY APPLE PIE
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
I was amazing, unlike anything he's ever experienced. I somehow made him feel young and old.and he never felt old before. He feels I will literally kill him. With my magic, lethal vagina.
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
Randomize
