I just had one of those nervous system things in my thumb...I'm pretty sure I have cancer.
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
yeah, I said "hi, I'm the creepy old guy at the college bar" and she said that she like mature men, wasn't expecting that line to work
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
Just got blown in a rental car. I need to get rear ended more often
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
I just found out via Facebook that my old dorm room is now the free condom distribution room on campus...IT'S LIKE THE UNIVERSE KNOWS!
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
To keep it classy I will take a pregnacy test on Mother's Day
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
Randomize
