she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
Hungover like ... in bed with the Brita pitcher and a straw, only opening one eye at a time.
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
You don't know commitment until you try and waterproof a non-waterproof vibrator
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
Jack said he hasn't jerked off in like two weeks and he's like a smoldering volcano who wants to bury you like Pompeii with his man gravy
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