Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
vagina is talking i cant
I'm talking like I woke up and her bra was spinning around caught on my ceiling fan
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
I just watched my ex butt chug a quart of eggnog. Why did I dump her again?
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
Chugging this bottle of Jim at the airport is proving more difficult than I imagined. TSA is not amused.
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
Just used a NyQuil cup to take a shot. This night is headed nowhere good.
Randomize
