i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
i dont care if i have to wear a pillow case, there will be an open bar at my wedding
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
It was so weird. She left to go to the bathroom and her older sister leaned towards me with a creepy smile and said, "You don't deserve her" and then continued to stare at me with a crazy expression for the rest of the evening.
That's kinky shit dude.
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
And then I cried about the Cubs for a half hour. If my dignity hadn't already been lost by that point in the night, it sure as hell was then.
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
Dude they're making a condom for people who have no feeling in their penises that will make them able to have an orgasm. I love science
Oh my god I'm in a public bathroom with a space heater. I never want to leave
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
Randomize