I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
so...the lady doing my pedi totally noticed the human bite marks on my calf. Who says marriage ends your sex life? Love u!
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
I'm pretty sure he's playing the harmonica in my shower right now. I just really need to pee.
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
I just woke up in the closet wearing nothing but a Santa hat.
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
I POOPED CONFETTI TOO. Ingested unacceptable amount of it oh my god can I die from this?
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