For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
so I think he was half asleep, but he woke me up by saying "where's my cow? Is it being shipped?" He must have been dreaming about farmville..
Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
Smoked a joint with my old camp counselor and now we're going to a strip club. There is a god.
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
You think you're smart. You're pretending to be asleep to save yourself from my hormonal pms mood swings. Unfortunately that only works against bears.
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
Two of my roommates are waxing their vaginas in the living room. Can I come smoke?
God dammit everything I said last night about jungle juice being awesome just does not carry over into the next day
Can we just take a minute to acknowledge that you're drinking with your gay ex boyfriend's DAD who is a DEACON??
Randomize
