I told you I would drunk text you sometime........its that time.
theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
tonight lets celebrate not being married
Performed a legit marriage between 2 drunk people at last call yesterday. Becoming ordained has already paid for itself.
She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
when your 30 and im 37 and we're lonely and single, lets make a pact to murder each other.
PS: when I ask you if I look fat in a a dress DO NOT TAKE YOUR SWEET ASS GAY TIME to formulate an answer only to tell me in front of our family that perhaps I should buy Spanx. Do you WANT me to tell mom and dad you suck cock? Then be a good brother and have the common decency to LIEEEEEE!!!!
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
i don't want him to see me in a bathing suit.
hasn't he seen you naked?
well yeah, but it's different in a bathing suit.
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