I can't believe you let me try to pierce your nipple with a dart last night
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
I just saw a man vacuming his front lawn. What is this world coming to?
I bought a Christmas tree in my drunken state last night, after walking a half mile in search of vino and prior to my apparently playing boardgames with my boyfriend's family. There is no way you are on my level.
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
Apparently someone switched my cash for monopoly money after midnight so I couldn't get any more drinks at the bar
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
Dude you were so high some kid was kicking the wall and you were convinced it was your heartbeat
I wish someone would just come knock on my door and fuck me already so that me and my stuffed animals aren't the only ones who see my amazing spring break tan. I'm not getting skin cancer so I can just sit here abstinent.
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
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