bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
Planning a foam party. Swimsuits are mandatory, and please no granny suits. If you wear a granny suit I will stick you in the corner and put a cone hat on your head.
I am not being the messenger for your booty call.
I spoon fed you cheerios when you were black out drunk. You owe me one.
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn.
Well, after emptying the contents of my stomach into a fucking rose bush, the only things moving through my digestive system are pills, coffee, and my own lip gloss. If that gives you any idea what kind of a day I'm having.
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
Just had a med school interview with that doctor I fucked in college. He remembered. Asked if I still have my nipple rings. Overall, I think it went well.
Randomize
