Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
She made me put my jeans under her mattress so that I wouldn't leave in the morning while she was still sleeping. Apparently I just look like "that guy".
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
Pretty sure that I got the MVP of wedding reception... woke up on the bench in the hallway of a hotel and we did NOT start the night there.
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
I didn't ride the struggle bus so much as drive it backwards off a cliff.
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
A log hopped out of the fireplace and caught the carpet on fire. Good summary of this election if you ask me.
Learning to live poor pretty well. Cashed in all the coins in my car for nearly 60 bucks and yelled at a Pizza Hut manager, insisting I have a free pizza credit, until he just gave me a pizza.
Wine. Check.\nDino chicken nuggets. Check.\n#IssaParty
How I know I've been single too long: I'm reveling in finding out my taken friends are being tragically dumped
We were driving past a farm when he screamed at me to stop the car, then he jumped out and tried to ride a cow.
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