dude, the building's fire alarm was going off for over an hour last night and you didn't move
that's ok, when I'm passed out drunk I'm impervious to flame
you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
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