what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
I told her I had to go to work this morning, got fully dressed in a suit, walked her out, drove around the block, parked, and walked right back in my apt and went back to sleep..
Since when does wearing a condom and going down on me make someone a gentlemen?
its a long story involving jim bean, an owl, and a knife
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
super high. so of course there was a shoot out at the bank. there are 20 cop cars no lie. if i make it out of this i will never smoke again
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
He wore my sunglasses on his honeymoon..... so there's that.
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
I forgot to lock the door last night. I woke up cuz a guy opened my bedroom door, asked me who I was and where he was. And there was another guy standing in the living room asking me if I knew what apartment "Travis" lives in.
1. I drank goldschlager 2. I fell in a bathtub and hit my head (hard) on a soap dish. 2. I sat in said bathtub talking to a random stranger on vacation from wyoming (who i met at a 711 looking for taquitos) for almost an hour. 3. We got kicked out of said bathtub by owner of bathtub. 4. We had sex.
Randomize
