I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
I googled "I hate my uterus" just to make sure I wasn't the only one.
you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
This guy legit just tried to LSAT formal logic his way into my pants. Contrapositives and everything.
Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
Dude found out there's an open bar at the celebration of life thing for my grandma which is at noon. Now I know why I can drink so much
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
Stop calling my penis "Fat Jesus"
While I'm here in reality dreaming of catching chili cheese fries with my mouth out of t shirt guns like Jesus is real
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
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