She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
I spent the whole ride asking the cabbie if people ever have sex back there, and if he wanted me to make that number one higher.
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
You know that if they offer you a bagel they are determined to sleep with you, right?
Uber driver offered to have sex with me since I went home solo. - rock bottom
I've got a surprise in the fridge when you get back.
Is it a puppy?
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
I just read my D.A.R.E. essay from 5th grade. I'm having mixed feelings about my previous life choices right now.
Randomize
