It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
i wish i could just chop off my fat with a knife..i would rather endure that than work out
She is sleeping in a dress because she's too drunk to put "real clothes" on
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
I don't want a mention or even a whisper of a Shakespeare Festival by that or any other name including, but not limited to, a fucking Renaissance Fair. Are we clear? It will be a DEALBREAKER .
You can't Tinder AND have him bring you icecream in the same night. It messes with your vagina.
Well, he asked what my sign was, then proceeded to critique me on my beer pong stance... I really need to raise my standards.
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
My mom heard me having sex with my boyfriend but thought it was the neighbors. She commented on how quick it was. I just nodded and changed the subject
Fun fact: nipples work on touch screens. Tell your friends :)
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
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