Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
Just so you know, each of my boobs fits perfectly in a martini glass.
So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
you were eating the carrots out of my guinea pig's cage and saying that you needed them more than they ever would.
I'm too drunk to be surrounded by this many indians
How do you manage to be drunk and a racial minority so often?
It's like alcoholism for beginners at my kitchen table.
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
We where late for the party because we spent the last hour staring at a towl becase we thought it was a raccoon
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
Just learned that the cute guy I've been flirting with at the beach this whole time is actually an inmate working in the community instead of being in prison.. My life is unreal
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