Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
Well, shes famous, an alcoholic, hillarious, and has big boobs.... Pretty much my only aspirations in life.
Thanks for holding onto me so I didn't fall in my pee in that parking lot. You're the best boyfriend ever.
I wanna get so drunk next week I throw up on a guy's genitals. I want to be that memorable for someone.
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
I may have just serenaded the sadface couple sitting on a bench outside the dorm by singing Bye Bye Bye.
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
So as I left the Australian's hotel room, I said "Welcome to America. You're going to do just fine here."
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
We're on our way. We couldn't find our clothes this morning, so we're driving your car half naked. You owe me a cigarette.
I'm not gonna lie, but for some reason I have this strong desire to watch porn with my pint of haagen das.
Is it too much to ask to have a life partner who has both male and female sex organs that looks cute and sounds like a female Antonio Banderas and likes to get weird?
Randomize
