i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
just found out i can blow out the flame on the grill lighter fill my mouth with butane and ignite a fireball
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
I am literally so hung over that I just opened up my emergency kit, got out a survival meal replacement bar and ate it.
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
I swear I'm an adult. I say as I send my mom to go find me green lucky charms and lady gaga oreos
Randomize
