Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
its raining. im dressed as yoda and im trick or treating alone. and i wonder why im still a virgin..
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
Just heard an advertisement for 40 proof chocolate milk. We may never have to grow up
We are gonna be 90 years old in wheelchairs at the nursing home sitting at computers poking each other and waiting for the other to die so we will have the last facebook poke.
i miss our vodka / percocet laundry days.
My mom said she saw you at the bar last night and asked how you were. She said, you replied with, "Oh you know, just knocked up."
Figured I'd get right to the point
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
Replacing my paralegal is easy. Replacing my favorite office fuck toy is a totally different story. Damn him for wanting to better himself instead of being my manwhore
Randomize