Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
If you die in college, do you die in real life?
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
My tally is now official: I have been drunk every weekend since 2008. Cheers.
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
Back of his car in the Starbucks parking lot WITH HIS APRON STILL ON. Check and Mate.
Holy shit. You won barista bingo AND the Triple Crown in one day.
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
So, I never imagined myself puking on the side of the road at 10:30 this morning to Lynyrd Skynyrd but here I am.
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
I just got baptized.
Drunkenly skinny dipping in a indoor hotel pool is not okay and does not count as a baptism.
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
Randomize
