so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
I feel like this woman may give her husband a hand job mid way through dinner. just saying.
sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
I'm going to write a letter. It's going to say, Dear Every Girl Ever: Take some goddam initiative and wake me up with a blowjob and I will eat out of your hand. Love, Every Guy Ever
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
His IQ is so high, I swear I started ovulating when he told me the number.
I may or may not have just sent the bartender a pic of me in my slutty cheerleader costume with the caption "rah rah ree, gimme yo d"
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
You are the funniest drunk Jew I know. Never in my life have I witnessed someone respond, "Is your dick kosher?" while being picked-up on.
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
She asked me to tell her the three words every girl wants to hear so I whispered "I play hockey" in her ear.
Randomize
