today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
She eyed me up from across the bar and mouthed "I have no gag reflex".
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
Also, we should really buy some bandaids. Right now I'm using toilet paper and scotch tape, but I don't really think that's sanitary.
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
I'm silent, like a masturbating ninja.
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
I can't remember dinner
Hahaha "rub in the ketchup on your face, It'll just look like blush." some gay waiter said that to you, and you go "good idea!"
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
You didn't try to help me when I fell on the dance floor. She brought me cupcakes. You're a shitty friend, suck your own dick.
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
I woke up cuddling a ham. That's not a euphemism. I actually slept with an entire ham.
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