all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
we should wear snuggies to the strip club
four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
I just asked the contractor building my house what it would cost to put a garbage disposal in all the shower drains...there was a lot of judging going on.
I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
How am I supposed to be friends with him when there's an exact replica of his dick in my underwear drawer?
we came into the house to find you doing shots by your self and when we told you to stop you locked yourself in the bathroom...
did I at least say anything...
you meowed at us and said you're a cat and cats drink for a living
Does your body have a liquid mass index? does that make sense? I think I drank it in Long islands.. Kill me now..
So by "wait for me" do you think he meant "Don't have sex with random dentists?"
Conference sex doesn't count if the dentist doesn't know your name.
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
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