Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
There is nothing more embarrassing than your birth control alarm going off while in a meeting with your boss and they tell you to take it.
He walked door to door asking if anyone needed to get laid. Surprisingly, that ended his drought
I just totok an inventory of my purse: 1 apple, 1 pair of underwear, 7 condoms, $18 in ones, a check with "for sexual healing" in the subject line, and a 4 oz bottle of wine.
Oh! and a letter from a judge saying I got an interview. Cause that balances it out.
be warned: you might find a baby hampster in my bra
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
I think people are normalizing furries
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
Randomize
