And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
Nothing like throwing up 1/2 price appatizers and 2 4 1 personal pitcher in uniform to remind myself what a succesful failure I am
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
you're a mystery wrapped in an enigma. wrapped inside a burrito.
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
you were exchanging tortilla chips with the guy at the next table, telling him your table was given the "big chips" because it was your 21st birthday
Oh my god I forgot there were Band-Aids on my nipples
What kind of outfit says I totes want you to take me in the airplane bathroom?
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
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