Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
I still can't believe I found a dildo in my ceiling today.
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
You were so drunk you coat checked your shoe... Not even both of them. Just one shoe.
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
So you've been sexting me while spending time with your family
I'm a family man but I have priorities
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
Randomize