What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
it was like my fingers were behind enemy lines
When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
I was trying to be really smart and save 10 dollars for each cab there and back. ...so I ripped a $20 dollar bill in half.
I legit had to pull him off my car. Then he texted me saying 'take me places.' Shotgun getting that drunk tonight
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
I just passed a lady driving with a cat in a sweater sitting on her lap with its paws on the steering wheel
Only you....
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