my throat hurts so bad i feel like i just gave head to a cactus.
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
... They left for 10 minutes and came back with a lobster he's in the toilet downstairs
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
tonight at the bar some people told me that I have a sprit following me around.. that's the kind of shit that you laugh off till you're home alone.
I just realized how terrible that was... I was drumming on your penis to a song about Baby Jesus.
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
They made Game of Thrones Oreos. Kill me.
Next time I think it’s a good idea to hook up with any of your wife’s family members or friends just kick me in my dick
Randomize
