so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
so i slept on a park bench last night...no hobo
My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
When I came in she was screaming "boundaries!" at the cat because it was trying to eat her pizza rolls.
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
What procrastination leads to: I have submitted a third of my job applications this week with a BAC that would get me arrested
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
according to the calendar even that i put in my phone last night, i'm supposed to fuck shit up at 11am today... i really hope i didn't miss something important
Randomize
