I puked the same amount of times as the number of bars i went to last night
Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
I just woke up with the words DO IT on my hand and six beers in my purse.
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
If I take diet pills with my edibles I'll be a perfect person
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
taking shots alone in my kitchen before I go learn to give a lapdance. when did this become my life?
I don't know if I'm more disturbed by the fact that you hooked up with a dude with one arm, or that "hook up with a dude with one arm" was on your bucket list.
Your participation in the democratic process makes me horny AF
I should have known it wouldn’t work. Someone saved in her phone as “Subway Sex” called the week before the wedding
Randomize
