some old guy just shit himself in my section. everyones leaving
you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
Im holding a competition......who saw me last, and who knows how my nose got bruised? you earn points for answering either question. and for bringing me water.
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
We're doing kegstands for my 80th Bday, so don't lose that muscle tone.
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
OH GOD NOT SANTA BABY. NO NO NO. YOU'RE LIKE 85. OMG MULTIPLE WOMEN. NO NO NO STAHP.
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
I just saw a raccoon get launched out of a tree by another raccoon. They have turf wars...
Fuck my life he IS a stripper, Ive been sleeping with a stripper named Phoenix. damnit, I knew the sex was too good
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
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