I got so drunk I pissed the bed last night. He still likes me. He's a keeper
He is a keeper. You on the other hand are not.
I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
I'm single as of 11 minutes ago. I was the chick who drunkenly tried to climb into bed with you 2 weeks ago. Wanna make this happen?
Breakfast-of-shame with my mother. I was in half of a sexy Mad Hatter costume. We had artisan bagels and judgement.
It is becoming increasingly more likely that my entire halloween costume will be entirely composed of borrowed clothing from the two girls I'm hooking up
i fucking swear, saying shit like "i dont get jealous" is like personally inviting your slutty friend to fuck the guy you slept with like a month ago
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
.... I'm on a random couch somewhere in Newark wrapped in a Lightning McQueen blanket
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
When we sit on the couch watching TV, she always cups her hand around my balls. Not sure if it's a sign of affection or a "power play" to remind me just how vulnerable I am if she chooses to make an aggressive squeeze.
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
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