He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
Where is the hickey?
What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
you really are a gigantic fucking slut.
sidenote: just remembered sarcasm does not translate through text
it's probably a bad thing that i wasn't even offended, huh?
She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
She told me to take deeps breaths and I said I said YOU FUCKING TAKE A BREATH CAROL IM SURE IF YOU WERE IN MY POSITION YOU WOULD HAVE OFFED YOURSELF ALREADY and she said my name is Becky 😂
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
Randomize
