Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
enterprise is going to pick me up, im too high for this
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
Stolen hampster on my tits. Don't tell me I don't know how to party.
I bought him bourbon as a thank you for his apology. What is wrong with me?
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
I found a briefcase foll of fireworks in my old bedroom...that's an appropriate thing to bring to a wedding, right?
Look man if you're looking for a voice of reason, you're talking to the wrong woman.
avocado toast wont fix the fact you did a bunch of blow you fucking hipster
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
That’s all I need in life: vibrators, butt plugs, strawberry lube, and sour gummies
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