check it out our google latitudes are spooning
I just wanna be some guy's midlife crisis
You can't hide fat with big sunglasses.
She forced me to throw up so it would "rejuvenate" me. It worked and then we took six more shots and did a keg stand. You know what I call that? Friendship.
I thought you'd have died of alcohol poisoning years ago! How'd you get my number?
Theres a picture of you standing next to a John Wayne cardboard cutout that says dont drink and drive. your buddy is shirtless holding a beer and youre holding your keys up with marker on your face.
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
Drinking with a woman who gave an anti-drugs speech at my high school. Somehow, not surprised.
A man bought two 40's from me, then asked if I had duct tape. How do people over 50 know about Edward 40hands? It was very weird.
I'm putting you on my Emergency card so i can spend the last ounce of strength in my hospital bed to flip you off.
You told me that they girl who was giving you a handjob under the table looked a little like your sister
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
Randomize
