I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
Just left a map of the Aleutian islands on this Eskimo girls face. Check one off my Alaska to do list.
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
At least I can pee in a cup like a champ at this point
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
I'm just saying, I walked in on you blowing a burrito. I now understand how obsessed you are with Taco Bell. And how long it's been since you've got some.
I DMed the cop that arrested me to come unlock my keys out if my car today
I woke up on some strangers couch covered in salad mix and oatmeal cream pies. The struggle is absolutely real.
My frontal lobe is being piloted by Jack Daniels right now.
Putting a bow on your dick doesn't make it a real present
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
Randomize
