i just got fired from my job because i was "too smart" and my immedate response was i am WAY too stoned to be considered smart, and theni walked out the door.
wow. i have no words.
I ride home in a shopping cart. Don't at like you aren't jealous.
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook
I think vodka/water/skittles totally beats your crystal light mimosas
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
Remember that Czech tennis player I brought home from beer pong and banged on your couch last year? He just booty calle me. From the Czech Republic.
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