im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
I knew I was in the wrong bar when "I have a daughter your age" was some random's pick up line.
you force-fed me gummy vitamins while screaming "I JUST WANT YOU TO BE HEALTHY" i have never been so terrified in my life.
Okay: Whipped cream, vodka, and a trampoline. This will either be really great, or really tragic.
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
Surveying the reception hall and I'm fearing the worst possible thing that could ever happen...this might be a dry wedding.
.,.,you might have to leave
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.
Update: my mom just told someone to shut up and suck her dick
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
Now I am free. And I want to go meet men. My phone deleted all my contacts, and I consider this to be a new beginning. With a new man in my phone book.
Randomize
