i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
I'll be thirty in eight months. I think my goal is too stop changing my pants in the parking lot at work by then.
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
so like
i may have gotten a little bit of blood in the charging port of my phone
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
Just met my future wife. Please dont fuck her.
You got up in the middle of a sentence, puked, came out and poured another glass of wine and continued your story.
Randomize
