i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
Almost caused a huge accident on the highway because I was distracted by how orange the road barrels were
Ok, in complete transparency, I am eating a cookie on my bed naked while reading a Halo novel.
So, I have realized that I am kryptonite for married men. I'm not sure how to feel about this sober, but drunk me accepts her destiny.
Wedding party came into the bar an hour ago. Mother of the bride is a stage five clinger. send help.
When you start lapping your martini like a cat it's time to go home. Partys over.
I've never met a penis that didn't think I was awesome.
Randomize
