Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
Everyone is sleeping and i'm sittin here in my iron man mask, watchin chelsea lately and tryin to figure out how to smoke through it.
I have never heard someone not give a fuck so poetically in my life. I feel like you should be leading men into battle with a speech like that
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
Someone explain to me why I woke up to find a stolen shopping cart in my room...
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
Randomize
