'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
Life lesson #57: drinking whisky out of apples leads to threesomes.
For Halloween this year I'm gonna go as Angelina from Jersey Shore. I'm gonna yell "umm HELLO?!," cockblock someone, then leave the party early
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
There are more dirty dishes in my bed then in the kitchen. Have I lost at life?
We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades
Priorities
At Walgreens. I'm getting condoms and a bottle of water so that I'm not "just getting condoms". I don't think I'm fooling anyone though.
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
Randomize
