so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
I tried to gradually lead her into my room but she wouldn't stop crying and quoting memoirs of a geisha
i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
I don't know what kind of drugs you were on last night but you kept trying to highlight my face because you said I was important
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
I just negotiated a blow job for an interview.
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
Her ex wouldn't stop texting her so she started replying with various pictures of Britney spears's breakdown
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
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