If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
Thanks for convincing the hot dog guy to give me one for $1 after I drunkenly dropped the first one. I loved your reasoning "I know you mark that shit up! I work in retail!"
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
I'm beer bonging chocolate fondue. That's how my Valentines Day is going.
Sometimes I get in situations where I realize they think I'm smarter than I am and then it's just one more thing I have to fake.
I'm about to be a big disappointment.
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
LESSON OF THE DAY: Saying Everclear gets you out of explaining anything.
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
Goal: finish my bio assignment before the Xanax kicks in.
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
Randomize
