let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
I am thankful for thumbs.
Because without thumbs, we would be dolphins.
Land dolphins.
Hey don't blame me, picking what flavor of condom to put on my dick is a very difficult selection process
I am a delicate flower. A fucked up, drunk, horny, pants pissing, delicate little flower.
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
So what if you don't want to be with your family. Go drink alone and watch Netflix like a normal person, don't be productive!
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
So I figured out why that guy from Tinder stopped messaging me back. He got married.
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
Randomize
