I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
Just found my mom passed out in my bed holding a bag of wine. Not sure if I'm ashamed or proud.
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
I'm hoping to finish this bottle of wine before I pass out, I don't want the remainder spilling on my white down comforter.
I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
You should know I just got pulled aside by TSA because they found a bottle of Bud Light in my backpack... Thanks for that...
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
Girl please we both know I eat his bullshit up like its candy sprinkled with crack
When that bartender tried to tell us he sang like Sade, I knew it was time to go
He came in two seconds and stole my pizza so I'm not counting it.
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
Randomize
