You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
everyone knows he gets back in a week and after that i'm not sleeping around anymore. it's like i have a expiration date.
He told me the hand job I gave him this morning was "lovely".
Dammit. I drunkenly drank all my milk at 6 AM in a misguided stupor to prevent my roommates from stealing my milk.
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
Found plan b box covered with blood. In kitchen sick. Pickle jar is empty. Wtf happened?
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
Also if i get drunk and start crying about the elephants you all have my permission to abandon me.
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
Imagine how different my life would be if I could find a man who gave me more pleasure than pizza at 2am when I'm drunk.
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
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