dude, im still at the bar with two chics... one has a moustache ill save that one for you... be home in 20min..
Just ran to the store on my way to the office to buy Diet Coke...the guy in front of me let me cut because it was 4 more minutes until 8am, so he wouldn't be able to purchase his vodka. I love Wisconsin
well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
he wouldn't lick chocolate syrup off of me because he's vegan. most awkward shower ever.
I feel like I got run over by a bus full of inebriated Scotsmen on the way to a soccer riot.
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
I don't know how it happened. All I did was tell her I was impressed by her presentation. Her nail marks on my back ain't going away anytime soon.
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
How awkward is it to have the guy you used to sleep with congratulate you on your engagement? I'll tell you. Very.
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
Randomize
