I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
Will you please bring me a line of coke at work without asking questions?
Don't talk about his dick. That's mine. There's a copyright on it. Use with permission
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
This dude has batman tighty whities on over his cargo pants and he has the nerve to yell "fuck you bitch" up at my window.
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
Pretty sure by 1p, she had fucked all of my bodily fluids out of me. I'm now trying to replace them with bourbon so 2016 is turning out pretty good.
There's a 50-50 shot that I will wake up with an ass tattoo tomorrow.
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
my personal favorite... An "I'm sorry you broke your finger and cant play sports for awhile" blowjob!
Randomize
