Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
everybody makes mistakes
i didn't know they allowed you to text in ambulances
just threw up on dog. broke microwave with cheese and spoon. having a bath with my barbies singing final countdown.
before you ask yes i found the absinthe under your bed. ITS THE FINAL COUNTDOWWWWNNNNNN
This is final. The chair stays in the bathroom, we are too old to be puking from the floor, grown ups sit in chairs infront of the toilet to puke.
Or grown ups don't drink themselves into vomiting.
fact: I now appreciate my drunken winter self even more. I just found $20 in my winter coat with a note that says keep yourself warm next winter. I am awesome.
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
I'm still pretty drunk right now, but when this hangover hits me, I'm going to be super pissed. It's a preemptive never drinking again.
I AM HANGING OUT WITH ADORABLE DOGS SURROUNDED BY NATURE. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND ALSO BYE CIVILIZATION AND PANTS.
Are you at a park?
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
I'm determined to sit on that face.
my ex logged me out of his netflix so im gonna fuck his bestfriend as revenge
Randomize
