So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
You told me that you only walk into walls because it makes the room stop spinning.
Listen, it's not like I meant to bust the window out. It just sort of happened. And I'm also sorry for stealing your dads bandanas.
oh sorry. I thought "boat" was code for "penis"
why is there a chinchilla in our apartment, and where did it come from?
question nothing. DON'T QUESTION A FREE CHINCHILLA.
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
His dog was laying on the bed and he said we could have sex as long as we didn't disturb his dog. My life is pathetic
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
OMG OMG OMG Ive hit the penis jackpot
It seriously took everything in my power not to sleep with him
What did it come out and serenade you? Lol
It sang to me in the dark. It was magical
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