The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
I made him breakfast and we cuddled on the couch watching march of the penguins, which is, in case you were unaware, the opposite of fucking on a pool table
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
Dude there is a stripper at my door saying she has my birthday present. She knows my name...but it's not my birthday...
God works in mysterious ways my friend.
He recreated the night that started all my mothers days. We shared a joint, drank Boones Farm, and dry humped to the Beastie Boys. Then I cried over MCA's death. Best. Gift. Ever.
I saw a shooting star while he was eating me out at 3am by my neighbors pool. Doesn't get more magical than that
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
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