i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
mid-sex i was thinking.. these are not the right balls slapping me
Her gay brother kept hitting on me and cockblocking me. Don't even begin to tell me how bad your night was.
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
If your boss lets you sleep on his couch, you don't pay him back by boning his daughter.
This morning I got out of bed 4 HOURS LATE, made eggs with a plastic beach shovel, and then ate them using pens like chopsticks in my bed with my turtle. Obviously, I am not in the mood to be proactive with my life today...
Imagine cans of beer raining. Like not hitting you and hurting you. Just gently falling into your hand whenever you're sad
I almost spit out my drink. But only almost, because it was vodka. And you don't spit out vodka.
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
I just realized now that you're pregnant we can't use alcohol as currency
Randomize
