I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
i would rather give Shaq a handjob than take this accounting final
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
The highlight of my night was definitely explaining the bandaid on my nipple.
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
My black heart of coal cannot compete with your boiling crock pot of teddy bears, rainbows, 90s music, and the good candy you get from rich people on Halloween.
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
I have more sex toys than shoes - HOW AM I SINGLE?!?!?
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
Ok because I want to set a new world record for how fast I can drink away my Christmas money
My fridge is empty and all of my food is in the bathtub. Just.. Why?
I've never had to kick an employee out of bed to go to work before.
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
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