Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
you know you were way too high when you wake up next to a handwritten list of all the things you'd do for a Klondike bar
Best news of the day: the hot chick at the funeral was NOT related to me... Thank god
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
If you're into enormous nipples, you should ask out my office's receptionist.
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
10 shots in she's sitting on the floor using the open dishwasher door as a plate to eat her "life giving" pizza.
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
He has the fingertips of a God
Randomize
